My biggest challenge of last year... | Weekly Wisdom

It’s my birthday today. Well, I’m writing this on the evening before my birthday.

On New Years Eve I was sitting in a cottage by a random lake in the middle of nowhere, in the hopes of switching off from all of the hustle bustle, turn off the phone, do a whole lot of reflecting, planning, reading, adventuring, relaxing. I did just that.

I was sitting on a table by the fire place when my hand stumbled across a pen and a blank page in the middle of my brown leather journal. I wrote a verryyyy deep question on the top of that page:

“What has been my biggest challenge of 2024?”

Damn Chris… that really is deep.

At first I wanted to run away, close the book, put the pen down change the music from my flow state playlist to my gym playlist, simply to occupy my mind instead of answering this deeeeep question.

But then I said to myself: “fuck it Chris, hit that question front on, it’s only gonna make you grow.”

So I did. Annnddd it was deep. It was a bit of a punch to the guts. But I said…

Chris, what has been your biggest challenge of 2024 brother? 

Well, making and maintaining friends has been hard. Heavily my fault.

Communication in person is certainly my strength, however on text, no no no no no.

I can’t seem to respond on time,

Reschedule that hangout,

Reach out when something good has happened,

Check in when something bad is going on,

God damn more importantly, check in on an average Tuesday when I don’t know if good or bad is going on but that doesn’t matter, it’s the check in that matters, it’s what friends do.

Good friends anyway…

I think I’ve lacked that this year.

Did social media and all of the growth I’ve had this year get in the way?

Not because of the number on my Instagram account. Maybe because of my ego that has got in the way because of the number on my Instagram account.

Come on Chris, don’t let that happen, none of that. What you also determined this year is that connection is the thing that actually matters.

Connection to self, connection to others and connection to a mission and purpose.

Where does a social media following contribute to that?

Well, it helps me connect to and achieve my mission and purpose. Tick!

It helps me connect with others. Tick!

It helps me learn a whole lot about myself. Tick!

But what about the ego piece? Why is it getting in the way?

The ego has separated me from most people because of the number of followers on my Instagram profile.

Potentially an “I’m better than you and you’re not worthy to hang out with me” thought creeps in from time to time.

Just writing that makes me feel sick. That frame isn’t getting you anywhere Chris.

I label it ‘standards’ or “I’m picky with who I let hang around me” but really it’s my ego getting in the way, creating a divide between me and most which ultimately, results in an increased lack of connection to others. One of the most important things life has to offer…

I need to cut myself some slack. It’s hard to navigate what I’ve been through the last 18 months. There is no college degree or course you can take to prepare yourself for half a billion impressions in a single year.

What I do know for certain is that ego and connection with others, are not good friends…

They divide, not combine

They separate, not strengthen

The confuse, not confirm

Confuse? What do you mean?

I think people get confused and think that I think I’m better than them or what they’re doing isn’t something I’d be interested in joining, so I don’t get the invite.

Sure, there are plenty of things I don’t wanna join. In those cases the invite would go to waste.

But there is also plenty of things I’d love to be apart of. 

Build memories, share some highs, lows, laughs, cries.

I want the invite man, deep down, we all do.

We want to be thought of, cared for, included, loved.

Whether it’s a yes or a no, I want the option.

My ego got in the way of that this year…

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Damn… I can’t believe I am sharing this to the thousands of you on this newsletter.

I feel like if you’re on this newsletter, you respect the openness of my content online. If that’s the case, this newsletter is going to be that next step further of openness.

Starting with a bang, I thought letting you know about my biggest challenge of last year.

Happy New Year all. 

It’s my birthday today so when you’re reading this, I’m probably training at the gym, eating a whole food nutritious meal, swimming in the ocean or hanging out with friends (the ones I’ve managed to keep haha).

I appreciate you. Share this with a friend or on your Instagram story so I can express my appreciation.

Stay tuned for next Monday mornings wisdom <3

Cheers

Chris